Taking Back Dad
Something exciting is happening in our culture today, as millions of men go where few men have dared to go before. In 2005, there are roughly 2.3 million single dads, composing about 18 percent of single parents. This faction is the fastest-growing parental demographic, up from 393,000 in 1970.
This victory of men taking back their right to parent is especially spectacular in this age of patricide, largely perpetrated by the media. In the wake of books like Maureen Dowd's inflammatory "Are Men Necessary?" and satirical shows like "The Family Guy" and "The Simpsons," it's easy to conclude that men are blundering, unfit perverts whose attempts at fatherhood can only provide comedic fodder, not positive parenting. But studies show that nothing can be further than the truth. What these cheeky portrayals ignore is the very real and life-changing affect that fathers have on their kids, proving definitively that, indeed dads are necessary.
Not convinced? According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, here's how not having a father negatively affects a child's development: The website states,"Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents."
The same study goes on to say, "Children without their fathers tend to have lower self-esteem, and are more likely to drop out of school, suffer depression, feel different from other children at school, be involved in accidents, and to attempt suicide. They are more likely to develop criminal, delinquent and violent behaviour. Daughters are more likely to have difficulties with other men in their lives, to fall pregnant out of marriage and to divorce. Sons are described as less masculine, and more dependent."
Here's how having a father positively affects children:
According to a study conducted at Colorado State University, fathers (demonstrate) service to the community as well as in the home. They care about the physical and community environments that sustain positive family life. A father shows both his sons and daughters how a man can love a woman by being a role model of a loving husband. He shows this by being affectionate, kind and generous, serving her and treating her with dignity, respect, and equality, and being a full partner with her in responding to the needs and challenges of life.
Furthermore, this study states that, "Children will learn more about how to be a spouse and parent someday in their own families by observing the loving and cooperative interactions of their parents than by any other means. Daughters learn the basics on what to expect in a man as a future husband and how a loving father can and should act - both with themselves and with their mother. Boys learn about fathering by watching and interacting with their fathers."
Needless to say, there is obviously sufficient proof that kids do need fathers. So how do you know if you have what it takes to join the brave 2.3 million who are stepping up to the challenge of fatherhood? Let's consider what we know about the million of fathers who are raising kids on their own:
According to the Census Bureau for the past year, 10 percent of single dads are raising three or more of their own children under 18 years old. Forty-two percent of single dads are divorced. Thirty-eight percent of single dads have never married, and fifteen percent are separated. Only five percent of single dads are widows, and fifteen percent of single dads live with a relative or non-relative. Twenty-one percent of single dads have an annual income of $50,000 or more.
So what do these single dads have in common that qualifies them for fatherhood? Not much. The bottom line is there is no magic formula for fatherhood. Like most parents, single dads run the spectrum in terms of how many kids they have, their marital status and their financial earnings. The only thing they have in common is a desire to be a parent. We think that's qualification enough, and we bet your kids will too!
The bad news? Despite the impressive increase in fathers, there are still presently 24 million children (34 percent) living absent their biological father. Do your part to alter this statistic by "taking back dad" and being a parent to the children in your life!
Some information taken from:
National Fatherhood Initiative
Fatherhood.com
Colorado State University
